If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with. You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, and my tendency to jump to conclusions. You fall in love with my troubled past, my unrealistic hopes and dreams, and the fact that I seriously believe they could come true. You fall in love with my wild temper, my illogical thought process, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart, despite my feminist views.
If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate, all my imperfections, and my perception that nobody could ever love me. You fall in love with the history that has caused me to think this way. But you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just to tell you I hope you have a great day, and at night, to wish you sweet dreams. You’re falling in love with the occasionally thought-provoking things I say, and the silly things I do in an attempt to see you smile. You are falling in love with the way I blush when people ask me about you, and how I’ll hold your hand, even if we’re fighting. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me.
If you’re going to fall in love with me, don’t fall in love with my Sunday best, don’t fall in love with the way I look after spending hours getting ready, or my fakest smile or freshly done hair. Fall in love with my body, the way it widens quite a lot around my hips, and how I will never have that perfect figure, and how I honestly don’t really care.
Fall in love with my impatience, my jealous, moods, and the times that I don’t feel anything at all. And fall in love with how sometimes I act like a child, whilst other times I can be the most mature. Fall in love with my scars, my marks, and all the things that makes me far less than perfect And fall in love with every part of me, both good and bad, and especially with all that I consider a flaw. Fall in love with me as a whole or don’t fall in love with me at all.
@Arni Lestari
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