Some people are miles apart – others are worlds apart. The particulars may vary but the emotions are the same… There is no other feeling of longing quite as painful as being separated from someone you love.
There is a moment in time when the universe turns itself completely upside down and nothing makes sense anymore. It is a moment when facts become fictions and every truth you ever believed in instantly becomes a lie… It’s when the present becomes the past, your life story becomes a myth and your dreams become little more than childish fantasies… Your reality becomes an illusion as your anxieties transform into fear because somewhere inside you realize that this is the moment you are watching everything dissolve away into nothing… This is what it feels like to lose the love of your life.
If we should never see each other again, then all I ask is that you preserve the memory of the girl you once knew. If by some chance, you should remember me from time to time – then remember me the way that I was; young and happy and free… Remember my imperfections through nostalgia’s softened lens… let them blur and merge into everything that you loved about me. Don’t remember when I cried… just that I laughed. Don’t remember how difficult I was to reach – only that I was incredible to hold. Remember the curve of my smile, or the glint in my eye whenever I would look at you or the way that moonlight looked upon my skin. Because perhaps in a way, it is a blessing that you will never see me aging… that you’ll never know when my health is failing… so don’t imagine me ever changing… Remember me always as the girl that I was… remember the way that I loved you… and remember that I always will…
So let them go with a thankful heart… Wish them well on their journey and accept with grace the fact that some people fit perfectly into your heart but not your life and it is as simple and as complicated as that.
At least we are under the same sky - you and I.
Please know that although we didn’t end up together in the end, I will always be grateful for having met you. Because despite the fact that it broke my heart to walk this path you set me on, I see now that I am not lost like I thought I was in the beginning. Every day that passes, I am realizing that these were not wasted years or wasted tears – it was all part of a journey to find the person I was always meant to be. I was never lost… I was simply coming home. Perhaps not to you like I always dreamed of… but to my true self instead.
I’m slowly coming to accept that you’ll always have a big impact on my life – even though you’re no longer in it. Meeting you changed me as a person and so it’s natural to expect that you’re always going to affect the way I think and feel about things. I have accepted that there are going to be reminders and that they’re going to make me sad… but forgetting you is not an option because there were so many positive things you brought into my life that I wouldn’t change for the world and I try to hold onto those because they’re worth saving…
I’m slowly coming to accept that you’ll always have a big impact on my life – even though you’re no longer in it. Meeting you changed me as a person and so it’s natural to expect that you’re always going to affect the way I think and feel about things. I have accepted that there are going to be reminders and that they’re going to make me sad… but forgetting you is not an option because there were so many positive things you brought into my life that I wouldn’t change for the world and I try to hold onto those because they’re worth saving…
And I hope that somehow you know that you’ll always mean something to me – even if I don’t mean anything to you anymore. I hope you know that I will always love you… in some way… in some form… But most of all, I’d like to think that I still impact your life in a positive way, even after all this time. I’d like to believe that every once in a while when you think of me; it’s not with regret… but with a smile…
Author - Ranata Suzuki
Author - Ranata Suzuki
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